The Problem Isn’t the Problem

Welcome back to Mind by Fire — Have you ever heard the phrase

Sounds simple, right?

Yet in the moment, finding the solution isn’t instinct.

When something goes wrong, our attention doesn’t naturally move toward solving it. We feel the disruption first.

Maybe it’s anger.
Maybe it’s frustration.
Maybe it’s that lived moment of “not again.”

The question in that moment becomes:

Where does your attention go next?

Brain-Based Insight

We tend to be pretty good at reacting to problems.

We’re also really good at describing, in detail, what went wrong. Sometimes we even look for someone to tell the story to so we can get a little sympathy.

The more time we spend sitting in the problem, the more we activate our stress response. When that happens, the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for clear thinking and problem solving — starts to disengage.

Instead of focusing on fixing the issue and finding a solution, we end up dwelling in it.

And the longer we stay there, the harder it becomes to think clearly about what to do next.

Once the problem is recognized, the better move is shifting your attention toward the solution.

What needs to be done next?

Not every problem has an immediate solution, but most of them have a next step. Once that step becomes clear, taking action helps bring the brain back online and moves things forward.

Reset Ritual

The Solution Shift

When you feel that moment of disruption — frustration, anger, or the familiar “not again” feeling — pause for a second.

Recognize what just happened.

Then shift your attention to one question:

What’s the solution?

Not the full plan.
Not every possible outcome.

Just the next step that moves things forward.

Once that step becomes clear, take it.

That single shift moves your brain from reacting to solving.

Reflection

I talk about tools like this often. Yet at times I forget to use them myself.

Most of these letters come from lived moments during the week. Something happens, it grabs my attention, and it turns into something worth sharing.

This week was one of those moments.

My wife reminded me of this in real time and walked me through a problem. As she was doing that, the phrase kept running through my head:

Focus on the solution, not the problem.

It was a perfect lived example and it raised my awareness of something important to watch for.

Even when you know the tool, you still have to practice using it in the moment.

So as you prepare for the week ahead, I challenge you to keep this phrase at the forefront.

When you recognize the moment you are being faced with difficulty, shift your attention to the solution and recover quickly from the disruption.

And if this tool helps you, pass it along.

Share it with your child, a family member, or a coworker.

Sometimes a simple shift in attention is all it takes to move through a challenge and get back to the moment.

Disclaimer: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.