Busy — or Living?

Welcome back to Mind by Fire. “Busy” has become one of the most common answers we give — and one of the least examined.

We say it in passing. We use it to explain our absence. We offer it as a reason without ever stopping to ask what it actually means.

But before we talk about how full your calendar is, there’s a more important question worth sitting with:

Are you busy — or are you living your time on purpose?

Insight- When “Busy” Becomes the Default

Are we busy for the sake of being busy — or have we created our own definition of what “busy” even means?

Are you busy, or are you simply living the life you’ve chosen?

Busyness has a way of becoming the default explanation for everything. Rarely do we stop long enough to examine what actually fills our time. We move from task to task, conversation to conversation, operating on momentum instead of intention, because it feels easier to keep going than to pause and take inventory.

There’s a reason for that.

When we’re constantly “busy,” we’re often operating from the brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN) — the system responsible for autopilot thinking, habits, and familiar patterns. The DMN conserves energy by keeping routines running as they are. It favors what’s familiar over what’s deliberate. That’s why busyness can feel natural, even when it isn’t aligned.

Pausing to examine your time requires stepping out of autopilot. It requires effort, awareness, and choice — all things the brain avoids unless prompted.

Yet the most meaningful shifts often come from stopping.

Taking time to reflect on what truly constitutes busyness — not as a label, but as a choice — creates clarity. What are you giving your time to? What has quietly replaced the things that should be priority?

“I’m busy” has become a socially acceptable way to end the conversation — or avoid starting it at all. It keeps us moving, but it also keeps us from defining our time on our own terms.

The real question isn’t whether you’re busy.
It’s whether your time reflects what actually matters to you.

And if it doesn’t — what are you willing to eliminate to improve the quality of your life?

Reset Ritual — Interrupt the Script

Because “I’m busy” is one of the most common autopilot responses we use, this reset focuses on interrupting that script in real time.

This week, notice how you respond when someone asks:

“How are you doing?”
“What’s new?”

Instead of defaulting to “I’m busy,” pause for a moment.

Choose one of two intentional responses:

1. Answer honestly — but briefly.
   Share one real thing you’ve been spending time on or thinking about, without performing productivity.

2. Redirect the conversation back to them.
   Ask a genuine follow-up instead of using busyness to exit the exchange.

The goal isn’t to explain your schedule.
It’s to stop using “busy” as a shield.

That small pause interrupts autopilot — and creates space for presence, clarity, and choice.

Reflection-Something to Think About

The holidays have a way of sharpening our awareness of time.

For some, that looks like missing someone who isn’t here anymore.
An empty chair. A familiar absence. A quiet reminder that time isn’t abstract — it’s personal.

In The 5 Types of Wealth, Sahil Bloom shares a perspective on time that stays with you:
If you consider how often you realistically see someone each year — and factor in their age — you begin to realize that the number of times you’ll see them again isn’t unlimited. It’s countable.

That realization changes how time feels.

We can’t add more moments to the past.
But we can become more intentional with the ones still ahead of us.

What would it look like to make more room for the people who are still here?
To be less available to distractions, and more present in the moments that actually matter?

Sometimes the shift is small:
Looking up from your phone.
Staying in the conversation a little longer.
Choosing not to rush past something meaningful just because it isn’t urgent.

As the year ends, ask yourself this honestly:

Are you really busy —
or are you living with intention?

Are your days scattered and reactive,
or are they full because you’re balancing work with something you’re deliberately building?

Some seasons require effort.
They require juggling responsibility with vision.
They require showing up before the reward is visible.

That isn’t being busy for the sake of staying occupied.
That’s choosing to invest your time now in a life you want to live later.

And one day, the pace changes — not because you escaped the work,
but because the work was done with purpose.

That’s not busyness.
That’s living on your terms.

What I’m Cooking This Weekend

This weekend, I’m making Tex-Mex enchiladas — the kind of dinner that brings you back to the table without trying to impress anyone.

It’s a dish my mom used to make growing up. Simple. Comforting. Always meant to be shared.

Corn tortillas softened in homemade chili gravy — the real kind, built from oil, flour, chili powder, and broth — not something poured straight from a can.
Seasoned meat.
Cheese layered generously.
Baked until everything comes together.

Nothing fancy. Just familiar.

Cooking like this is a reminder that not everything meaningful has to be optimized or elevated. Some things matter because they’re rooted in memory, rhythm, and presence — sitting down together, slowing the pace, and letting food do what it’s always done best: bring people close.

If you’re cooking this weekend, I hope it’s something that feels like home.

Disclaimer: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.